Since this is my first blog, I was going to talk about some topics going on in the world that I care about such as Alternative Energy usage or the American Cancer Association. However, since covering FPC After Dark’s The Female Orgasm, (article will be released next issue), and in lieu of National Nutrition Month, I figured I would narrow my focus down some.
For instance, I've recently begun to notice how a lot of women on this campus carry themselves. I've seen some girls who walk around with the utmost confidence and beauty; ones who make you say, “Damn girl,” period. But what I've spotted more than that are the girls who aren't carrying themselves at all. Girls that might as well be driving those little electric carts that elderly senile people bump into you with at Wal-mart. The ones that I'd like to walk up to, give a hug and say, “Damn girl you're fine, now act like it.”
This quasi-scientific observation has made me increasingly concerned that these girls are being molded into modern day anti-Venus protégés, asexual beings if you will. I'm afraid they are finding it difficult making the effort to become more comfortable with their bodies and being able to allow themselves to reach that point where they can say, “I like my body and I am ready to have sex if I so choose.” The media tends to only show women that do not exist in actual life having relationships and sex lives.
When I see these women I have the propensity to think, “Wow, she is hot…but I’m almost positive she’s either an alien or a robot.” So when girls are constantly bombarded by these airbrush images every day I can only assume it makes some of them think that maybe they’re inadequate, that guys have astronomical expectations.
I'm her to say relax, not all guys think that women are supposed to be these flawless goddesses. I know a lot of you girls have a little mechanism built inside of your nerve endings that forces you to stop changing the channel when it lands on VH1 and E! But please…for your own health, (mental ,physical, and spiritual), turn your television off if you find yourself doing this and get out of your dorm room immediately. Unless of course Girls Next Door is on, I mean come on, what can’t you learn from watching that show? Those girls are gorgeous, and each has the IQ equvalent to Einstein. Well, by Einstein I mean those little pieces of lint that I sometimes forget to remove from the dryer.
What I’m getting at is if you don’t have confidence in yourself and you compare yourself to nonexistent women in magazines & television and if you don’t put in any effort to having a healthy mind and body because you think it's an impossible feat; well then it’s going to be ten times more difficult to find that significant other who hasn’t come along yet. Seriously,unless you have the metabolism tantamount to that of a crack head or have a tapeworm inserted in your small intestine, you’re going to have to do more than lounge and loathe in your love(less) seat while complaining to your friend Shelley Sue on the phone that you can't get a date.
Fluttering your jaw and watching the tube isn’t going to magically cause pounds to float into outer space and create a constellation to marvel at. You have to get up offa that thang! (RIP James Brown, we miss you). I realize that I might seem a little superficial, insensitive, and chauvinistic even, but stay with me.
When you meet someone the thing that’s going to keep you together is not looks and physical attraction. We are not plastic dolls or wilderbeasts. Although, if you peruse Jaffrey’s tanning salon or look at some people that live in la la land I’m sure you could find a few individuals that would fit real nice in a cardboard box on a shelf in FAO Schwartz or in a wax museum next to Paris Hilton and Mr. T. And don’t even get me started on some of the creatures that meander around Jaffrey and Rindge. You can find most of them ogling and hitting on the underage girls that work at Choppa’s Meats and Deli. I’ve witnessed it. These select plastic Pollys and manimals do concern me, but maybe I'll save that for another blog if I ever do this again.
Personally, if I meet a girl who doesn’t have a sense of humor and doesn't like to laugh it’s “Thanks for coming out, I’ll probably forget you exist in the next five minutes.” But in order to get to that stage one needs to initially be attracted to another and that’s a lot less likely to happen if you stay cooped up in your dorm room, eat massive amounts of pub food, and watch E!
Not only will your self esteem be about as low as A-Rod's approval rate, you'll be stuck with nothing to talk about other than the true life story of Donnie Osmond. Show me a man who likes listening to a girl talk about what happened on E! last night and I will show you a man who has lost his dignity and his soul.
Onward and upward, there are a number of things guys are going to weigh in when seeking a significant other, and they don’t have to do with whether or not you look like Charlize Theron. In most cases they are: 1. Am I attracted to this person? 2. Does she have a sense of humor? 3. Is she someone that’s going to be honest with me and someone I’ll be able to talk about anything with? 4. Does she have a psychotic overprotective sister waiting to castrate me? (“So I Married an Axe Murderer") 5. Is she going to steal my CDs and sell them on Amazon.com for spray tan money and Akon tickets? 6. Can she move like a jellyfish? 7. Does she like Italian food? (Those last four are probably just me).
To break it down cliff notes style, we’re looking for an initial attraction, sense of humor, some signs of intelligence, and honesty. If you have the “world is ending” syndrome and you start thinking that there’s no one out there for you then you’re sadly mistaken. Take a look around girls, if you haven’t noticed, us guys; we are always on the lookout. ALWAYS. I’ve often contemplated making a documentary on this, titling it “Dudes Are Predators…No For Real Son” and sending it to the Discovery Channel. That sounds a little intimidating… and borderline creepy but it’s true.
However, if you have confidence in yourself, which you should, it’s not a big deal. Women have been walking down hallways for centuries and men have always been there to check them out. Just remember, every person has flaws and every person is insecure about one thing or another, its part of what make us human.
I for instance developed a height complex in middle school when a rather gargantuan female hockey player called me a "little b**ch" and cross-checked me into my own bench. It’s coping with those insecurities and accepting the person you are and saying “Whatever, I’m me and if you don’t like it then go expletive yourself” that makes the difference. THAT is what makes a woman sexy.
So next time you go down to the café and you see a guy who appears to be looking out the window, chances are he’s not. He’s looking in the reflection for one of two reasons 1. He’s a narcissist and he’s looking at himself (take it easy Hansel) or 2. He’s checking out that cute brunette that just walked by without making himself obvious, which just might happen to be you. This doesn’t mean you should get dolled up every time you want to go get something to eat. I really don’t care if a girl is wearing sweat pants and a t-shirt at all times of the day, matter of fact I love that. It tells me you’re comfortable with yourself and you’re not high maintenance. Just be confident and make healthy decisions for your body, I can’t stress this enough.
In conclusion, I guess what I’m really trying to articulate in this blog is that you (girls of FPC) need to be comfortable with your body, to not hold back because of what others might think, to put a little effort into having a healthy appearance and an active mind (but not too much effort) I think it was Christian Bale who said “I think trying too hard to be sexy is the worst thing in the world a woman can do”- Just read a book while running on a treadmill or try kick boxing), and last but not least don’t pay too much attention to what the media tends to display women as, not human. And I’m spent.
Cheers,
Chris
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